Episode 161: Nicole Zasowski



I am happy to welcome Nicole Zasowski to the table today. She is a Marriage & Family Therapist in Connecticut where she lives with her husband and son. She’s co-authored a couple of books with her mentor written primarily for therapists and she has a book coming out next year.

I really loved chatting with Nicole and I practically pushed her in the deep end right off the bat in this conversation about vulnerability. We talked about what vulnerability looks like, how to have courage to show up in the middle of something hard, why vulnerability is the key to having good relationships, how to draw boundaries in relationships and what makes a relationship safe. 

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Links Mentioned:

Survival Kit:

  • Congruence more than balance - Is my schedule reflects that I carry in my heart?



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Connect with Nicole:  Instagram // twitter // Facebook // website

Takeaways From Our Conversation:

  • "In those vulnerable moments, when you confront the thing you can not change you meet the strength of God in a new way. When you reach the end of yourself that’s the beginning of transformation.”

  • “When you allow yourself to show up and be seen for who you are. Its a risk but you give permission for others to do the same."

  • When it comes to facing hard things, we run from it—the uncomfortable and uncertainty. We want to run from the mess yet we have to face things things. That’s what makes a good story.

  • "When you cut yourself off from pain, you also cut yourself off from joy.”

  • “Hope takes a lot of courage."\

  • Ways we run: blame, shame, control, escape.

  • Ingredients a relationship needs to be safe: openness, honesty, balance of give and take

  • "Healthy boundaries and vulnerability is about knowing when to say yes and when to say no."

  • “I would miss so much if i remained heartbroken over what was not.”

Discussion Questions:

  • When is a moment when you felt like you confronted the thing that you could not change?

  • What is something that you walked through that made you feel very vulnerable?

  • When you want to run from something hard, which way do you tend to run: blame, shame, control or escape?

  • How do you feel when you do those things?

  • What is something you can do to face the hard thing instead of running from it?

  • What is a boundary you can put in place to protect your vulnerability?

  • What can you do today to practice joy?

What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation on Instagram or Twitter.

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